U.S. Military Test New Bad A** Toys to Thwart Enemies

GI Joe got just got some bad a$$ and expensive new toys to play with. The U.S. Army talked the Israeli Ministry of Defense out of selling some Iron Dome missile interceptor units. As soon as we got them in last month, the troops lit a few off to test them out. Gloom and doom forecasters are saying that we’re on the brink of World War III. With Imperial Leader Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. on the throne we very well might be.

Live fire test

American generals were happily slapping each other on the back over America’s “first successful test of the Iron Dome missile interceptor.” The battery of mobile missiles is designed to “stop rockets in their tracks.”

Our troops got the hang of it as soon as they were turned loose with them. The IDF was gracious enough to allow a few photos of the tests to be released.

The Pentagon types had everyone loaded on buses and hauled off to the middle of nowhere in White Sands, New Mexico for the test.

There, they got to practice intercepting targets. Incoming missiles. Israeli Defense Ministry administrators were on hand to run the demonstration and offer advice.

The Iron Dome system is expected to “protect deployed American forces from a variety of aerial threats, including cruise missiles, unmanned aerial vehicles, rockets, and shrapnel,” the sales brochure reads.

At 9 a.m. EST they were calling the test a huge success. By then, the sun was coming up in the desert and everyone was ready for something cold to drink someplace dark.

Get yours now

Israel couldn’t help posting a commercial for their services on social media. And now, a word from our sponsor…

“The US Army, the Israel Missile Defense Organization (IMDO) and RAFAEL have successfully completed a live-fire test of the first US Army Iron Dome Defense System (IDDS-A) Battery, which the U.S. acquired from Israel,” the Israeli Ministry of Defense bragged in a tweet. Get yours now, before supplies run out. Be the envy of every major government.

“Iron Dome developers RAFAEL, IAI Elta, and mPrest supported the test.” Everyone was glad it went so well with “rising global tensions” these days. Beijing and Moscow are teaming up against Joe Biden.


He’s been walking around with a “kick me” sign taped to his back since he handed Afghanistan to the Taliban and asked “would you like fries with that?”

The U.S. Navy certainly seems to be gearing up for some kind of trouble. They’re “said to be ‘preparing’ for future world war with thousands of marines and sailors taking part.”

They got to play war recently in “a large-scale exercise designed to show the US’ ‘readiness’ for a potential global conflict. The problem is China and Russia don’t seem to be properly impressed by the test results.

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