weapons

Breaking: US Approves $735mil Weapons Sale

The Imperial Palace just approved a deal which will reload the Israeli Defense Forces with a fresh $735 million worth of “wicked” weapons. They’ve been launching missiles back at Gaza like it’s the Fourth of July. Biden may be on the side of the Palestinians but he needs cash for his green new deal too. He never minded working both sides of the fence before so why start now?

Weapons deal approved

Officials are calling Monday’s arms deal with Israel “massive.” We’re shipping $735 million worth of “precision missiles and special munitions” as the IDF responds to the Palestinian aggression which has been going on for over a week. Congress put aside their partisan bickering for a change to focus on the weapons problem which hit their desks “several days ago.” Whether they like it or not Israel is officially our “ally.”

Hamas isn’t officially recognized as a “government,” but instead, they’re considered a terror group. That makes it hard for Nancy Pelosi to raise a fuss.

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His Wisdom Joe Biden and the Palace were staring blankly into the distance up until the weapons deal came along. They suddenly decided to act like they’re doing something and “started to push for fighting between Israel and the Palestinian terrorist groups in Gaza to stop.”

Israel says it will stop when the Arabs give in or the sand turns to glass, whichever comes first. They called an airstrike on the building which housed the Associated Press and Al Jazeera on Saturday. It turns out that Hamas was using them as a shield to protect the offices of their leadership. Now it’s a pile of dust and AP is still trying to replace their equipment and find new offices.

Israel needs the weapons asap. They really “cranked up the pressure and started to inflict serious damage against the terrorists.” The Palestinians started it by firing “more than 3,100 rockets at Israel.”

Imperial Minister of State, Antony Blinken tapped out on Twitter that he spoke “today with Egyptian Foreign Minister Shoukry to discuss the ongoing violence in Israel, West Bank, and Gaza. All parties need to deescalate tensions – the violence must end immediately.” Joe Biden is feeling trapped.

Off in the distance

Former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, who terrifies Kim Jong Un, responded with a tweet of his own. Blinken blinked, he insists.

“The Biden Administration has distanced itself from Israel by attempting to revive the failed Iran deal, siding with the Ayatollahs over our ally. America must be strong and defend its allies without hesitation.” He’s all for the weapons shipment. Better than pallets of cash to appease the terrorists.

Along with knocking Al Jazeera off the air in the region for a while, pundits note that the “weapons sale comes as Israel pounded Palestinian terrorists over the weekend by blowing up miles of underground terror tunnels and taking the fight to the front door of top terrorists by targeting their homes.”

Starting the week off right, “senior Palestinian Islamic Jihad commander Hassam Abu-Arbid was killed in an Israeli airstrike in the northern Gaza Strip.” That happened on Monday because Hamas keeps causing trouble. Rockets were “fired from the blockaded enclave” to target communities in southern Israel.

Another reason they need more weapons is because “a short while ago, IDF fighter jets struck a Hamas tunnel shaft in the area of Khan Yunis of the southern Gaza Strip.” They were hiding military equipment “adjacent to a kindergarten, a mosque and a hospital.”

Just like they did to the press offices. “This proves once again how the Hamas terror organization deliberately places its military assets in the heart of densely populated civilian areas.”

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