Major Company Decides Screw Your Religious Beliefs

What happens when a major corporation decides to issue a slap in the face policy which translates as “screw your religious beliefs?” America is about to find out. Personal beliefs never did matter to corporate honchos but they decided on Wednesday, you can eff your “medical reasons” too. The ACLU is battling it out with the Southern Poverty Law Center over who gets to file the lawsuits.

Screw United

It seems that in these liberal times, everyone is coming out of the closet. United Airlines has always had an unofficial logo they wouldn’t dare to openly acknowledge. Now, it’s so appropriate to their corporate position on the issues that they’re ready to go public with it.

Screw you and the beliefs you flew in on, they said Wednesday. Employees who had previously been “granted exemptions to a company vaccinate mandate for religious reasons will be put on temporary unpaid leave.” Starting next month.


With all these breakthrough Delta Variant cases running around they have no choice, airline bigwigs declare. Get a shot or get a new job. Every one of their 67,000-person U.S. workforce must be vaccinated against Covid-19 this fall.”

The “personal beliefs” and “medical reasons” which were good enough for a waiver aren’t good any longer either. “Screw your personal beliefs.” They’re afraid of being sued for killing a passenger with Covid or something. If the shot kills you, they have worker’s compensation insurance for that.

The competitors of United have taken less heavy handed approaches. Delta decided to screw non-compliant workers in the wallet by “imposing a $200 surcharge on unvaccinated employees’ company health care premiums.”

On top of that, “Delta, American Airlines and Alaska Airlines will end pay protections for unvaccinated employees who contract or are exposed to Covid-19.” They may be singled out for costly measures but at least they can keep their jobs.

Out until it’s over

As part of the official screw you statement on Wednesday, United declared that once “an employee’s request for a religious exemption is denied, they must be vaccinated within five weeks of the denial notice.”

Since they all went out at once, everyone must “get the first shot by September 27, or they will be terminated.” Have a nice day!

Anyone who decides they didn’t get enough grease to take the screw job, “pilots, flight attendants, gate agents and airport customer service agents who interact with customers” can come back to work “once the pandemic meaningfully recedes.” Whenever that might be. That doesn’t seem real temporary.

What happens is that each and every one of them will be able to collect a palace issued unemployment check for the rest of their life and retire.

Considering that the affected workers will screw United back by cutting the number of passengers the airline can produce revenue from, it might just work out alright karmically in the end.

No matter what, everyone in America will be watching what happens next and anyone of an evangelical nature won’t be flying United. Neither will anyone who stands up for the rights of people to decide what they put in their body for whatever reason.

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